So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
