like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
