I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
