You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
