All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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