Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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