we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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