This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
