TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
