its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
