i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I need a burrito and a hug.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
