what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
