Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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