I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
