Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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