The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think I sprained my soul last night
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize