Don't you send me to vm
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
