hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
