in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
