I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
