Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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