So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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