Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
