was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
