It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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