You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
