those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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