Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
