I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We had to coat check the pizza.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
