I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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