Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
