It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
