Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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