you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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