Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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