You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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