literally had 100 drinks last night.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
