I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
