Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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