i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
