well most of my day revolves around power hour
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
