I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's official drugs can't kill me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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