She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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