I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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