The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
