I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
A bitchslap is in order.
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