Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
do nipples grow back?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
