Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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