i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
porn star boner night. come get it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
