you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
