when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
this beer tastes like vomit already
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
