I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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