Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
This is not my ceiling
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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