first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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