Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
