this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize