Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
