people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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