And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
