I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize