Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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